meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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