You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
