it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
