Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
