you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
