tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
