can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
this will be a night to untag.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Randomize
