I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
