just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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