you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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