i was born a porn star she said
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
