my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
