Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
