Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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