3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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