I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Damn victory sex feels great
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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