sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
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