you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Pooping to opera.
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