Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
