I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
