I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
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