you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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