Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
