whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
