she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
