Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
