His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
