i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
