Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
