Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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