I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
