I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Randomize
