Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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