yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
