Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize