He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
