we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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