I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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