take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
