every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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