I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
