but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
