our cab driver is having phone sex.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
