i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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