Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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