Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Just took my morning after pill in the library
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
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