TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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