Too much gin, very little bucket
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
