My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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