i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
