Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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