I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
