Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
